Social stereotypes in the sphere of manifestations of emotions are unambiguous. Firstly, there are bad and there are good emotions. Fear, anger, anger, resentment, irritation are, of course, bad emotions. Joy and interest are good. Experiencing good emotions is good, possible and necessary. Experiencing bad ones is bad and should not be done under any circumstances. Secondly, only children openly express emotions (even positive ones). This doesn't suit adults. A distinctive feature of an adult is calmness and equanimity. As a last resort, the image of joy, enjoyment of life, and a positive attitude are encouraged. No one cares what is going on inside you. People around you don’t really want to know how you really feel; they suggest you calm down (preferably quickly), forget about all the troubles. And if you smile more, then everything will improve on its own! Thirdly, if negative emotions can be shown, then only to close people. And, usually, it looks quite impartial - a husband, wife, child, girlfriend literally “dumps” all their accumulated anger, pain, anger onto you. “Well, I also can’t be myself with my loved ones?!!!!” - a typical excuse. And also this hysterical one - “Emotions literally overwhelmed me, I can’t help myself!!! How can I calmly answer if I am overwhelmed with emotions!!! It doesn’t depend on me!!!” When I hear this, I get the feeling that emotions, especially negative ones, are parasites that live with us (or in us), but on their own. And we really can't do anything about them. And they will die with us. Well, of course, one can argue that emotions are such a complex phenomenon coming to us from the depths of centuries... And also this - “As soon as you begin to control your emotions, you will turn into an inanimate creature, because that the natural manifestation of emotions is a sign of a living person.” This is what we tolerate from our “living” loved ones... In fact, everything is simpler and more complex at the same time. Firstly, we should not so clearly divide emotions into bad and good. After all, if we understand that, for example, anger gives us strength and determination to confront obstacles on the way to a goal, mobilizes strength, and reduces fear in the presence of danger, then we are no longer so negative about the very possibility of experiencing anger. Secondly, regular non-expression , ignoring disapproved emotions, in addition to losing ourselves and the well-known psychosomatics, also leads to the fact that we lose the ability to understand them, and then manage them. It’s funny - we hold back emotions, supposedly controlling them, but in fact we are moving towards losing all power over them at all. Thirdly, of course, the most important (and problematic) thing is to adequately express our emotions and not frighten people with them, including loved ones. The mechanism of taming emotions is quite simple in theory, but in practice it can be mastered. Briefly it looks like this. The first stage is understanding the situation. This is the most important point. Here, consciously or not, we choose our attitude, which transforms into emotion. It is here that we can choose the angle from which we look at the situation. “It started to rain – that’s good, because...” or “It started to rain – it’s bad, because...”. Different emotions appear. This stage lasts only a few seconds, and sometimes less. This is its difficulty. Therefore, together with Polianna, we train, constantly playing the game “This is good for me, because...” At the second stage, the emotion unwinds, and here we either give ourselves the right to live it or begin to actively slow down. At the third stage, we experience the emotion itself, and do Something is already difficult with her. And at the last stage - the fading of the emotion - all we can do is tell ourselves “soon it will all end anyway.” And really finish this. So start from the very beginning. And, of course, managing your emotions, regulating emotions does not at all mean controlling their external manifestation. This is in no way repression, suppression or elimination. Managing emotions is like driving a car - it’s difficult!