Have you ever played games that have multiple endings depending on how the hero reacts to certain events we choose? Probably, almost everyone, at least, has heard about such games or can simply imagine them. Long ago, they gave me an interesting thought: why is it that when something happens in real life, a board with response options so rarely appears in our heads? , some person wedged in front of us in the queue, and where is our wonderful: “Yell”, “Kill”, “Ignore”, “Be offended and sulk for the rest of the day”, “Joke”, “Ask a question”, and more a dozen possible reactions? Even if this board lights up in our minds, how often do we skim over at least the first five or even three options? Unfortunately, we often lazily and thoughtlessly click on the first, most familiar, automatic, but far from the most effective option. And this is what we do every day, in both small and serious situations. What is the chance, with such a strategy, to come to one of the desired endings? Thinking about this, for the first time I felt the possibility of choice. It turns out that it is not at all necessary to react the way others do, the way I did it before, or the way it seems to be. Surprisingly, it usually seems obvious to us that when a bad event occurs (or so we call it in yourself in your head), the reaction to it should be negative. We were taught this way, we all (practically) live this way. Something didn’t go according to plan - we get upset, complain, angry, offended. On the one hand, these feelings really arise in response to an undesirable event, but I noticed that the intensity and duration of these feelings increases due to the fact that in our head There is a law: something bad happens - get upset. Yes, so that it is clear that you are in trouble. Otherwise, they won't understand you. That's how everyone reacts. Be like everyone else: get angry, grumble, freak out, wait until someone comes up, calms you down, shows attention, consoles you. And only then will you receive permission to move on, because you have completed your cherished program. And in some cases, not just move on, but move like a hero, like a victim to whom this happened! So that others would look and say: “Oh yes, it’s so difficult for him, but he’s coping!” Thus, our habitual reactions are reinforced by the fact that: 1. We unconsciously believe that this is exactly how we need to react, because everyone does it (those who act differently also exist, and for that I have my great respect).2. We are used to doing this. This is our way of thinking, our program.3. “Poor, unfortunate” people who have had trouble (even a small one) attract the attention of others. And often, the “victim” needs not help, but attention. The victim position is the easiest and fastest way to get it. I believe it is for these reasons that most often people do not even try to look at other options. After all, the usual one is easier to use, and besides, it provides enough benefits in the form of everyone’s attention. For some, this behavior even develops into the main way of communicating and interacting with other people. This is how an eternal victim of circumstances is born, who must be permanently saved and supported. But is all this necessary? After all, there are much more effective response strategies that can give better results in the future, and we can attract the attention of other people in a completely different way. There is absolutely no need to resort to the position of victim-hero for this. And, in fact, admiration and respect from others, with a different reaction, will only grow, moreover, being not an end in itself, but only a pleasant bonus. But the true benefit of a positive response lies elsewhere. It provides several advantages at once that can radically change our lives: ✓ A person does not get stuck in negative emotions. Naturally, emotions arise. But this is only an impulse, nervous excitement, energy that our brain generates. It can be represented in the form!