One. He saw her from afar, she seemed light and transparent. For a moment he even thought that it was not her, but her ghost. But the closer she got, the more clearly he saw her, and when she said: “You’ve been waiting for a long time...” and he heard her voice to complete what he saw, he believed that it was her... Two. The sky outside the window was cloudy and did not bode well for anything good, only snow (maybe someone thinks snow is good), but he was pretty tired of it. And on this occasion, he decided that today he would not go out even for cigarettes. He will stay at home. One. Three. He held her hand and they slowly walked along a river. She kept telling something, pointing somewhere in the sky, then fell silent for a second and again continued her monologue... He hardly listened to her or did not hear, his thoughts were somewhere far from here, and only the warmth of her hand in his hand reminded him that she was nearby. And that was enough. Four. Another day passed, passed, and left behind only a pile of cigarette butts in the ashtray. “No, it’s not that bad,” he thought. Yes, everything actually wasn’t even very bad, except for the fact that he had been absolutely alone for several weeks. No one around. He himself did not want to see anyone, and no one, apparently, wanted to see him either. It was even somehow strange, before his whole life was filled with all sorts of people, sometimes not even very necessary, but nevertheless they were... But now they are gone, there is no one at all... Five. And here she is again, or rather she is there as always, it simply cannot be any other way. She is so close that he can even see his reflection in her eyes. It is so sweet. With every breath he can smell her sweet scent. He closes and opens his eyes, and she is nearby. She has such a pleasant soft voice, he listens to her, as always, he touches her, her skin is so smooth. She is nearby, she talks about it all, there is no doubt about it. Six. Today he decided that all this had to end somehow, no matter how, but something urgently needed to be done about this loneliness. And he decided that the best thing to do would be to go where there were as many people as possible, and it seemed to him that the most optimal place would be a nightclub. He remembered the music that hit his brain, a bunch of spinning lights, intoxicating with their whirling, he remembered dancing bodies, mostly he remembered the bodies of girls, and it was even pleasant. It's decided. He's going to the club today! Sem. She is beautiful, everything about her is beautiful, there is no doubt about it, and the most beautiful thing about her is that she is so close. She is next to him, she is part of him, and he is part of her. He is intoxicated by this thought. He can touch her at any moment, kiss her, look at her, smell her, hear the rustle of her hair in the wind. He had everything with her that an ordinary person could wish for. "Eight" What's happening to me? What am I doing all this time? What am I thinking about? And what does my loneliness mean to me? I used to always think that I couldn’t live alone for even an hour, but now it’s already been that long. And sometimes it seems to me that I am starting to like it all. I'm starting to like those moments when I sit alone on my balcony at night, look down at the thousands of lights of the city, drink cold coffee and smoke a cigarette for a long time. And, oddly enough, I like to wake up in the morning (or rather, after noon), poke around my apartment, open and close the refrigerator and make myself toast with tea (and tea must be with milk). And just yesterday I discovered that I really enjoy cleaning my small apartment, especially if the music is screaming so loudly that I don’t think I can hear myself. In general, the conclusion: I seem to be starting to like my loneliness. “Nine” Lately she has somehow begun to elude me, I can’t even understand how exactly this is happening, here she is nearby, but at one fine moment she is no longer there. The surprising thing for me is that I don't feel bad about it. I used to think that if suddenly she was not with me, I would die. But I'm not dying. Maybe it's because I know that she…