Each person is a set of relationships with other people. None of us exists on our own, separately from others. Even hermits have an internal image of someone with whom they conduct a dialogue. Perhaps it is God or a brother, a loved one or a teacher. But a person is able to recognize his Self only in dialogue with another. In the literature, I once came across a real-life incident in which a group of psychologists was sent to work with people who had just been liberated from a concentration camp. And psychologists were preparing for the fact that they would work with such topics as violence, the terrible consequences of mental and physical wounds. But all these people, former prisoners, wanted to talk about love. Only relationships with others were important, even after all the troubles and untruths suffered. In life, it often happens that relationships with one person occupy the majority of our mental space. For example, there is a conflict with a person and we cannot prove to him that we are right. Or the person is no longer alive, and we cannot accept it. And it happens that we substitute someone else in this person’s place. Let me give you an example. A woman, about 60 years old, sought psychological help. She asked me to do something about the feeling of hatred towards my neighbors. A young couple and she shared a communal apartment. All the woman’s thoughts were occupied by these people. She complained that she was annoyed by everything they did, the way they talked, the way they walked. Client quotes: “they do all sorts of mean things behind my back”, “as soon as I turn my back, they say nasty things about me.” She felt furious that they were stealing her cleaning products, as it seemed to her. She repeatedly contacted the police and, in general, took an active and militant position towards the newlyweds. The police were inactive. This whole situation left the client in a state of powerlessness. When collecting an anamnesis, it turned out that even in her youth, the client’s husband left her for her friend. And she then considered that any reaction to what happened would be beneath her dignity. And then many years passed and hatred of random people suddenly began to poison a person’s life. It is clear that the young people simply fell into the shoes of other people, with whom the client never ended relationships in her mental life. It is possible that without analysis she would never have drawn parallels between an unsuccessful marriage and conflicts with neighbors. And instead of working on herself, she would have remained in the “war zone” with unpleasant companions - attacks of rage and a feeling of powerlessness. So who are we really talking to? To answer this question, there are psychoanalysts, psychologists, and psychotherapists. Undergoing personal psychotherapy is the most environmentally friendly way to get to know yourself through another.