So, you have decided on the goals of communication and have some idea about the mechanisms that are involved in it. Now you can begin to realize your goals using both manipulative techniques and improvisation-actualization. First, let’s consider a situation in which you are not familiar with a potential counterpart, but you need to communicate with him. In addition, you always have some information about him that you can use when you first meet him. They heard something about him, saw, read, observed, scouted, guessed. Of course, it is impossible to prepare a clear dating scenario and carry it out. Life is always richer than our plans. Therefore, it is worth outlining the main scenario and two or three spare ones. The essence of the technology of first acquaintance is to create a favorable situation and take full advantage of it. We have seen that for rapprochement certain combinations of personal and social characteristics of partners such as profession, gender, age, nationality, social status, cultural level, character, habits and all other individual characteristics of a person. Its mood, place of action, and surrounding environment are also important. EXCITATION AND ATTRACTION One sunny summer in the mid-80s in a Baltic resort town, bored from unusual idleness, I invited three girls I knew, each on their own, to conduct an interesting experiment. The girls were very good, one was simply beautiful, and the experience was simply that they met young people. They met only some in the town, and others - in the cabin of the cable car leading from the beach. The booths were double and standing. The fleeting acquaintance ended with them giving the guys their local phone number. Of the guys they met in the city, less than one quarter called. But of those whom they met on the cable car, only one did not call, all the rest wanted to continue their acquaintance. Since I predicted this result, the interested girls interrogated me for a long time, what kind of secret is hidden in the local cable car? Even the owner of the house became interested in this question, who at first was sharply opposed to the experiment, since her phone had not survived so many calls in the previous ten years. Of course, I broke down a little and walked around with a mysterious look, but when rumors about the effects spread around the town aliens, and the old-timers began to tell me that long ago, before the construction of the cable car, a flying saucer had landed in that place, I had to reveal the secret. It turned out not to be a matter of the mysterious radiation of the place, but of human psychology. Of course, not one of the guys who met the experimenters on the cable car would have admitted to them that they were experiencing real fear. Moreover, he would most likely not admit it to himself. And indeed: they had no reason for conscious fear. There was no conscious fear. But at that moment, the guys definitely, against their will, had a faster heartbeat, a little less breathing, and all the signs of stress. None of the guys, of course, was aware of this fear, but the signs of excitement were obvious, but there was no explanation for them, because the true reason was repressed into the unconscious. This situation is called cognitive dissonance in psychology. And conitive dissonance requires its resolution, the elimination of tension, and the creation of a consistent idea of ​​the world. In short, the guy had to somehow explain his condition to himself. And the unconscious, trying to hide the true cause (since knowledge of the true cause causes psychological discomfort), pushes out a new explanation, shifts attention from self-preservation to sexuality. So all the guys explicitly or implicitly explained their condition to themselves by a strong sexual attraction to a sweetly chirping interlocutor. But they didn’t just explain. This is exactly how fear was inverted into real attraction. This is how a young man works: if he met a girlin a calm environment, he does not feel much interest in her. But if they met in extreme conditions, then she can count on a strong place in his heart. After reflection, the girls agreed with my explanations. After all, they themselves, as it turned out, liked the guys from the cable car more than the ones they met in the town. They decided to firmly remember this story and henceforth ride their gentlemen on the cable car more often. The same will be useful for the reader. It is always useful to keep this mechanism in mind and operate it, even if there is no cable car at hand. There are, however, many ways to use it besides it. It is especially often used to achieve success in sexual relationships. One of my friends, a former stuntman, opened a cooperative in the late 80s that specialized in fights on the street and in one small cafe. Any guy, for a fairly reasonable fee, got the opportunity, in the presence of his girlfriend, to beautifully scatter up to four experienced stuntmen, and the company guaranteed the beauty and effectiveness of the fight and the complete absence of injuries to the participants. Demand for the services of the cooperative very soon began to clearly exceed supply. The most interesting thing is that even... girls soon began to use his services. This made a depressing impression on my friend, but he accepted orders. In principle, there is always the opportunity to provoke or simulate an extreme situation in which you find yourself together with the partner with whom you want to establish a relationship. A minimum of ingenuity - and your image is already firmly associated with a strong emotional experience. Then he unconsciously includes you in the circle of people close to him. So remember - connecting yourself with a situation that causes strong emotional experiences is the path to success. OTHER FIRST DATING TECHNIQUES Jean Marais' heroes in romantic action films met the person of interest, organizing a bandit attack on her and a wonderful saving the victim from the aggressors by a chevalier who happened to be passing by. Now such cliches seem rude and arouse suspicion, but an exciting situation is extremely useful. Moreover, it is useful if, for example, you turn out to be a victim. That is, some dangerous situation in which you accidentally found yourself together with the victim will cause you to faint, weak legs, a heart attack (depending on age), etc. Having provided assistance, the candidate finds himself in contact with you - all you have to do is maintain this contact, scattering your gratitude. The reason for getting to know each other can be a simulation of an accident - a fall on the street, a sprained leg, sudden weakness. If you are a lady, you can evoke sympathy with your helplessness. For example, your car has broken down, you cannot carry heavy things to a hotel or home, etc. It is possible to imitate awkwardness - you attract attention by dropping something from your hands at a convenient moment. The same applies to forgetting your belongings near the candidate. Finally, you can simply ask for a light or provide simple information. Everyone has their own weaknesses. You can get acquainted by offering yourself as a companion needed at the moment for drinking alcoholic beverages, playing cards or chess, “pouring out your soul.” The main thing is for the contact to take place - then you need to turn it into an acquaintance. Directly mirror situations are also possible. You can use the predicament of a potential acquaintance, for example, show a certain place, explain how to do something. You can organize the need for some service for him, for example, help in setting up a car that has failed for some reason, a ride somewhere, and so on. For business acquaintance, a game option is possible. For example, you send him a letter by e-mail or regular mail that will certainly interest him and make him want to respond or come into direct contact with you. Of course, to do this you need to know what might interest a potential acquaintance. It is possible to gradually build up interest through a series of special messages. You can send your return address (direct or intermediate).