From the author: The author's article was published in Novaya Gazeta District No. 1 (95) on January 20, 2016. The format of the article is limited to the format of a newspaper article. “A year ago I got married. My husband and I began to think about children. I want many children and a large family, but my husband insists on two children, since he himself grew up in a large family. Tell me how we can come to the right decision.” Lyudmila, 21 years old, art. Staromyshastovskaya Lyudmila, the main purpose of a woman is to give life. To create a full-fledged family and raise children in love and harmony, you need to understand your desire and need to have a large number of children. Questions about yourself. Ask yourself a series of questions that will help you understand what your desire is based on. What are your main life goals, values ​​and meaning of being? Do you have experience giving birth and raising children? Do you have experience living in a large family? Do you have experience in close communication and interaction with large families? Your answers probably lie in childhood, and you want to win the battle regarding your childhood experiences. You probably want to build your family from the “nasty” scenario that your parents had. By immersing yourself in your deepest motives, you are able to take conscious and responsible actions! Life experience. The second option when making a decision in your situation is to try it! You should not waste empty efforts defending your own opinion in disputes with your spouse WITHOUT REAL EXPERIENCE. After giving birth and raising at least one child, you will be able to make a WEIGHTED and CONSCIOUS DECISION - to give birth further or stop at one. Time will tell how your pregnancy and childbirth will go, what will be the state of the child’s health, the attitude of your spouse towards the child, etc. It makes sense to go through certain difficulties in your own family in order to become close people with your spouse and learn to understand each other. A married couple evolves over the course of their life together, as do the views of each spouse. Questions regarding the spouse. Understand your spouse and his motivation, perhaps by asking him questions about his family of origin. What arguments does your spouse give when he voices his refusal to have more than three children? What needs of the spouse were not met in his parental large family? What did your spouse miss as a child? It is important to understand that the desire of the spouse at the moment is just his desire for the GIVEN MOMENT! By the way, this statement is also true for you. When a child appears together, the spouse’s attitude may change in a positive direction. Every coin has two sides. You can make a mature decision by weighing the pros and cons of families with more than three children. On the one hand, children in a large family are socially adapted, responsible and sociable, since they have to constantly interact with each other, adapt to each other and to the changing environment, and also take responsibility for the younger ones. These skills are important later when creating your own family and in the professional sphere. On the other hand, children are deprived of early childhood, do not receive due attention from their parents, and the care entrusted to them for younger brothers and sisters can create an exaggerated sense of responsibility, low self-esteem, and uncertainty in oneself and the difficulty of realizing one’s own “I”. On the one hand, for the full development of personality, a child needs personal space, the opportunity to be alone, to be alone with his thoughts and feelings. And the older the child gets, the more vital the need for his personal space becomes. Children in a large family, if they are not wealthy families, are often deprived of this opportunity. But on the other hand, having loved ones nearby and later in life will help them feel important, necessary and not alone, as well as having the opportunity to get help in difficult life situations situations. On the one hand, the material wealth of a large family!