Author's Note: Trauma divides a person's identity. How do we see the traumatized? Amazing people. Strong. Strong, reliable. It’s the dream of any boss - they’ll jump out of their skin and get the job done, even if it’s late into the night and without days off and without lunch. From the series: “We don’t need money - give us a job!” If something goes wrong, most likely they will take all the mistakes personally, redo them, and will worry for a very long time that they let them down... If they need to stay beyond the norm - Certainly! Or help. Save. Even if they don’t ask very much, it doesn’t matter. If you manage to make friends with such a person, it will be a friend forever. Only they almost don’t let anyone get close. These are the “survivors.” What do they say about themselves? - I'm eating! I eat constantly! In the evening I’ll get up, go to the cabinet where the goodies are, and eat them all. I don’t even notice that I ate it. I eat like a pig... - How many times have you said the word “eat” just now? - I? Not once! - I am like a soldier. Always ready for battle. Ransom your loved ones at any cost. Give away what is most dear to you, just to live. - Is there a real threat? - No. But I can’t relax, otherwise disaster will happen. - When I make mistakes, I want to do something with myself. Punish somehow... - Punish? - Yes, then I hate myself. These are dialogues with people who suffered sexual, emotional and physical abuse in childhood. No, these are not "victims". They survived, adapted, and created families. They “forgot” some particularly terrible episodes. But the traumas divided their personality into parts: the traumatized child part, the relatively healthy adult part, and the one responsible for “survival.” Survivors. This is how my colleagues and acquaintances know them. Tenacious, hardworking, energetic. They know how to survive - and that's true. And this is their strength. They already know how to survive, they have survived in situations that you won’t even see in a movie, but if you see them, you won’t believe them. All three statements are evidence of violence. “I’m eating!” - says a woman who was sexually abused as a child. The girl felt "dirty" - "dirty like a pig." In the future, excess weight was supposed to protect her body from attacks, make her asexual. “I am a soldier!” - the words of a woman who experienced severe emotional rejection in childhood, who “chained” herself into the image of a warrior or rescuer (while maintaining external elegance). Her whole life is an unsuccessful struggle for crumbs of warmth from her rejecting mother. You have to fight for happiness. It must be earned. And having earned it, protect it. “I want to punish myself when I’m wrong!” - a trace of long-term emotional and physical abuse. Introject or possibly an implant (according to G. Fischer). "Built-in program". It is implanted by the aggressor into the flesh and blood of the victim. This is a separate topic - about self-punishment. About how a person punishes himself. "Accidentally". By chance. As one of my clients said: “I refused persuasion to move to another job. And the next day I ACCIDENTALLY got into an accident.” We do not see these people “whole.” The injured part is securely hidden from view. We only see the "survivors". We see and wonder... where do they get so much strength? Energy? Responsibility? And why do they have such sadness in their eyes??