You are more beautiful than you think. Have you seen the Dove experiment: “How we see ourselves” vs “How others see us”? The meaning is already revealed in the title, but now I’ll clarify a little. Ordinary women are drawn by an artist who does not see them, according to the description of the person himself, and the second portrait is reproduced according to the perception of the people around him. So the women imagined themselves and told how they were much worse and less attractive than others described them. Women in the story about themselves noticed all their shortcomings and focused attention on them. Others perceived them more holistically and harmoniously. Yes, I myself have repeatedly observed this with clients (and naturally with themselves), as they talk about themselves. “I have thick ankles,” that’s what my ex-boyfriend told me.” “I’m too tall,” my grandmother repeated to me, but I should be miniature. “I’m not their breed, I don’t have such aristocratic features.” “Mom told me to wear bangs to cover my big forehead.” “I have very big hips, so men don’t like it” “I need to pump myself up, otherwise I can’t look at myself” “Skirts are definitely not for me, my legs are very thick” And a thousand more such words and complaints about themselves from cute, beautiful girls, women and men. I usually didn’t even notice this “flaw” until the person himself paid attention to it on purpose.⠀ It becomes obvious where they got such an opinion about themselves, of course, from the assessment of the people around them. And most likely for quite a long time, while still a child, they heard such criticism addressed to them , and then, as if on cue, they picked out only unflattering words. These are the negative glitches about yourself, although reality can constantly prove the opposite. And from here an obsession or, in other words, concern may arise, to prove something, to deserve something, to receive praise, to overcome, to become thinner, harder, more successful, richer (configure it yourself further...). But all the efforts from this motivation are rarely successful. then they are rewarded, the same internal defect remains and the discovery of even more non-existent shortcomings. Although there may never have been a real problem, only someone’s assessment, the subjective perception of another, which one very strongly believed and was impressed by. And what now with all this to become rich? At the very least, stop scolding yourself. As in the video “at a psychologist’s appointment” - Stop it. You don’t want to scold yourself all the time? Well, then gradually, through a new experience of trusting, warm and respectful relationships (therapy is a good option for developing such close relationships), gain inner peace and replenish the skills to receive support and acceptance, learn to satisfy your needs and take care of yourself. The process is not quick, but real.