What is the difference between sincere help and imposed debt? “You have to help us. Must! Was it in vain that I gave birth to you? How much effort and money we invested in you - and this is how you pay?” - these phrases spoken by parents impute to children a sense of duty and shame. And what are the consequences? Some people continue to live with their parents until old age, thinking that they need constant help. Others give up their needs, giving all the money they earn to expenses families.👉🏻And still others quit their jobs to devote themselves to caring for an elderly relative.But is helping at the cost of their own lives really what children actually owe their parents? Let's figure it out. Legal aspect 👇 From the point of view of the law of the Russian Federation, children must provide for disabled parents who need financial support. This means that disabled people and pensioners have the right to apply for alimony through the court so that their children transfer money to them monthly to meet their life needs. But such material support concerns only the basic needs of the parents, payments will be small. According to the constitution, children are not required to provide other assistance. Psychology of relations between parents and children 👇 Psychology views relationships in the family as a waterfall: the older generation passes “water” to the younger. But “water” cannot go in the opposite direction. This is a natural process of transferring resources for procreation. In a healthy relationship, parents let the child go. They realize that he has his own life and do not expect him to try to help them in everything. At the same time, parents do not lose the meaning of their lives; their range of interests is not limited to the affairs of their children. Relationships in which parents believe that their children owe them can hardly be called healthy. They are often filled with toxicity: manipulation, resentment, pressure. Children of such parents cannot separate because of feelings of guilt. So what should children do? Children must independently decide whether to provide help to their parents or not. You need to help, care, and support out of a sincere desire, and not out of a sense of duty. Otherwise, a person risks giving more than he can. Trying to please his parents, the child will give up his self-realization, goals and desires.❗️Do not forget that your life belongs only to you. If you want to learn how to set priorities and manage your resources so that they are enough to move towards your dreams and to help loved ones? Sign up (https://niginavellar.ru/consultation) for a consultation and you will learn how: 1. Do not fall into the traps of thinking and manipulation of others.2. Free yourself from fears and negative experiences.3. “Rewrite” negative limiting attitudes in your head.4. Develop emotional intelligence and communication skills.