Mendelssohn finished speaking, the touched parents and other relatives wiped away their tears, the gifts took their rightful places in the room... It would seem: what could be simpler: two loving hearts united - to live and rejoice. However, often after a very short time misunderstandings and resentments arise, which lead to quarrels, conflicts, and sometimes to the breakup of the family. A young couple is at the reception: they have been together for 7 months. They have been living separately for the last 3 weeks after the latest scandal. Disappointed, depressed. They don’t look at each other, they only turn to me. There is tension in the air. “I’m tired of it. ..He (she) doesn’t behave like that... His (her) parents...” I ask: “What is the reason?” In response, a stream of mutual claims and accusations. “What are you going to do?” - They shrug their shoulders in bewilderment. During the consultation, it turns out that both have absolutely no idea that the new social status requires some changes in the usual lifestyle, the ability to seek (and find!) compromises and much more, and these skills are not given just like that, it is a great desire and intense internal work . Of course, these young spouses will make peace - now the attraction and interest in each other is strong, and in the methods of re-education and remodeling they have not yet managed to break the woods. But how many mistakes and conflicts could be avoided if the spouses understood the essence of the processes taking place in their family and took timely measures to eliminate disagreements and grievances. As you know, a disease is easier to prevent than to treat. And how true this is with regard to family relationships! The emotional traumas that we inflict on each other remain for a long time, if not forever, and prevent us from feeling the daily joy of family communication. In the mid-20th century in the West, such a direction as family therapy appeared in psychological practice. In our country, family psychologists have become in demand only in recent years, not because there was no need for them. It was simply “not customary” to bring up personal problems for discussion with a specialist. The phrase “We all come from childhood” is defining in family therapy. Many serious psychological problems of a person arise in the family, as a result of certain relationships that develop among relatives, often close and loved ones. Difficult relationships in the family, even if they concern only two people, cannot but affect all family members, especially children. Marital conflicts and generational conflicts involuntarily influence the mental development of the child, the formation of his character and personality. Growing up, many of us don't remember any traumatic events, but that doesn't mean they didn't happen. Unbeknownst to us, childhood experiences influence our reactions in our adult lives. Suffering from “adults” in childhood, we act towards our children exactly as we swore NOT to do. We get offended in Mom's hateful manner and yell in Dad's hateful manner, and then we despise ourselves for it. Our family life is not turning out the way we want. It’s as if we are acting according to some scenario of our parental family. This is a problem, but this problem can be helped. It is important to recognize the problem and work hard on yourself. In addition to “scenario” moments, almost every family needs psychological help during difficult periods. There are “obligatory crises” of family life - the first year of marriage, when it is necessary not only to “fall in love”, but also to “endure”, the birth of the first child, when you have to learn to be a mother and father, the first year at school, adolescence... A psychologist with his family explores the reasons why life is not turning out the way you want, and finds an opportunity to change life so that everyone in the family would feel better. Today, premarital counseling is quite popular. The premarital period is not only a time of beautiful courtship and explanations, but also a time of accumulating joint impressions and experiences, getting to know each other, and designing a life together. In short, this is the most important stage in laying the foundation on which a family home will be built. In the moment,!!