From the author: The article was published in the column “Advice from a Psychologist” in the newspaper “Chelny Week” in 2009. Let’s remember: “Let’s raise our glasses to the charming ladies! ", "Thank you to the wonderful hostess", "Let's drink to our excellent friendly company." Agree, it’s always nice to hear such words. Holidays, in addition to other cheerful moments, also leave good memories with many nice warm words. What a pity that, as a rule, we only hear them on holidays. But even on weekdays, the ladies around us are just as charming, the hostesses are wonderful, and our company is excellent. Is it weak to just say this without any special reason? Try to count how many times a day you pointed out, criticized, were indignant and ironic, and how many positive assessments came from you? The results will stun you, especially if you start counting your words directed towards children or subordinates. If you ask from the other side, are you more stimulated by reproaches or kind words? And almost everyone will answer - they inspire, encourage us to try, generate a good attitude and gratitude, statements that note something good in our affairs or in ourselves. So we come to such a well-known concept as compliments. And there is no need to grumble - who needs these flattering words... Everyone needs warm touches (people get sick less if they are stroked and hugged - a proven fact) and friendly words. A compliment is a statement of a pleasant fact. At the same time, compliments are not just about “you look good.” These are personal characteristics: cheerful, kind; and professional qualities: proactive, attentive; and even the features of your immediate environment: well-groomed flowers, responsible team. Remember - when was the last time you were given compliments? Have you ever said anything nice to someone else? Once during a consultation, a woman, talking about her life, said that her mother-in-law treated her badly. My question - how does she know this - was answered: her husband said. It so happened that after some time the husband also went to a consultation with a problem - what to do - the wife and mother did not agree on the characters. Then he and I found a convenient way to improve the relationship between two women - tell both of them what good the second one says about her. If you heard someone speak approvingly about an absent person, remember and be sure to pass it on (that’s the kind of gossip in reverse). Double effect: firstly, you improve the relationships around you (we always approve of those who treat us well...), secondly, the light of this approval falls on us. So - let's not put it off - immediately and Let's start improving the world around us with compliments. In this case, at the beginning, of course, we will specially come up with both the addressee and the words. Then it will go away on its own, and there will be more smiling, responsive people around. Today – to the spouse, parents, children – what shall we say? You can pay attention to appearance (especially details - kind eyes, soft lips, shiny hair or a sparkling smile, etc.), character traits - neat, reliable. Even better are detailed sentences in which you won’t immediately see a compliment: “I feel so calm next to you,” “Your mother is very hospitable,” “I’m always surprised what original and non-standard solutions you find.” With practice, we will achieve ease and ease in fixing pleasant things around you. The effect will not be long in coming - you will definitely like it. Anyone who says a lot of compliments, confirm! At the same time, we speak only the truth - every person has something pleasant in appearance, character, and professional qualities. Here is a colleague - harmful, uncommunicative, cunning, and what a posture! So about posture we’ll say: “What a royal posture you have”... And a day later we’ll note the conscientiousness that: “Eh, everyone would treat things like you do...” You see, the person is not harmful, but very much nothing... Not a day without a compliment! Shall we try? Who do you say and what??