Choosing yourself is difficult, especially if since childhood you have heard, “you only think about yourself, you will grow up selfish”, “stop thinking only about yourself”, “I have put my whole life on you “and you’re ungrateful” and other phrases that persistently form in the psyche, I need to do a lot more for others and then they will definitely be happy with me. But the trick is that you have already grown up, but at the same time you continue to play according to the scenario “today I will try very hard and please everyone, it doesn’t matter that I am hungry and cold and I feel bad, I still have to try hard and then they will finally praise me.” How often I hear the phrase “I’m afraid to be uncomfortable, to think about my comfort, about my feelings, what will they think of me then, that I’m bad, I think only about myself?” But the trick is that they can think whatever they want about you, even without your efforts or, most often, not to think at all, yes, yes, but you still spend so much energy on pleasing or being praised. It’s really difficult to break out of this whirlwind, because the psyche once fixed it this way and then, perhaps, it was adaptive for that situation, but now you have grown up and it’s time to reconsider these settings. I’m an adult and I can already take care of myself and my feelings, no, not as categorically as many sometimes do, “I don’t owe you any more, my mother will rest,” no, of course, adequately allocate energy to taking care of the family and myself. start finding this time for yourself, where you are not selfish, but only a caring adult about yourself. You won’t believe it, but very often it is extremely difficult, even impossible, for a woman to set aside one hour a week for herself and spend money on it, because inside there is an eternal conflict and the question “but I definitely can, I have the right, and with whom should I leave the children?” , will this be convenient? etc. And then the fact that you have started this path of caring for yourself, about your inner world - already becomes a therapeutic process, and this path is really very difficult to start, because other attitudes have been formed for many years. But I always believe in each of you, who are still just looking in this direction of the new you, because if you are looking, then the direction has already been chosen and there will definitely be changes!