Complaints from women at receptions over the last 3 years Alexey Igorevich... “I don’t understand why he... and I want to change him, direct him, change his clothes, argue.” “They somehow became different, hysterical, capricious, I noticed that they disgust me... disgust towards them behavior, yes, I take from them what I need, but building relationships with them, having children... absolutely not." "When he appeared in my life, I became very jealous and anxious... I often get sick, my neurodermatitis appeared" "I need that he...” “Next to him I feel stupid.” “I don’t really understand why I need him... in general, why do we need you men, because we can do everything without you?” “I feel good myself... but I need him for...” “I notice that I’m constantly dictating what to do, I’m dissatisfied, I’m dragging myself, I don’t know what’s causing the relationship.” “You understand, he doesn’t provide my needs... I feel like he’s not pulling” “He’s an abuser,” a “narcissist,” a “psychopath.” , “manipulator” (and other labels from “pop psychologists”) I need to be more careful with him…” “I can’t afford a close, loving relationship, because he will be in charge... and I will be super-vulnerable” “Everything is going well, I understand him, I feel good... but then I get bored and I do everything to break up." "For me, a relationship with a man means being weak, not self-sufficient, not strong... you need to be cold, self-sufficient." "When a relationship with someone begins, I start to like someone, my anxiety increases, I want to run away, I feel powerless... I defend myself." "It's strange, but when I start to like a guy, I become overly touchy, demanding, I can say too much and then regret it." "When I'm in a relationship, I always feel like they don’t understand me” “I don’t need a relationship because he doesn’t show me the attention I need and what I need” “When I’m not in a relationship I control everything well and keep in touch with myself better” “Men generally react strangely to me, I feel like meat that they want to eat and consume..."Complaints from men at my receptions over the last 3 yearsAlexey Igorevich"When it comes to relationships, I understand that I can’t handle it...""Strange...but when there is a girl or a woman nearby, I keep my distance and have been for so long...inside feeling of a catch” “It’s boring...” “Doesn’t understand...” “It’s even disgusting to look at, they all dress like homeless people”, “they look the same, which is simply repulsive” “I can’t get enough of her...” “I’m breaking down, I want her for me...” They call me an abuser, a tyrant, but I’m just demanding... and I want order...” “A lot of information from her, I feel like she’s competing with me, she wants something from me... I’m tired... there’s no warmth, comfort, emotionality” “After meeting her I’m like dead, I’m tired, I can’t be around for a long time.” Definition of love in clinical psychology and psychoanalysis This is the ability to recognize the real-I of another person without evaluatively and unconditionally, without putting pressure on him. To receive pleasure from sexual passion, which gives energy to this relationship so that the well-being of the partner, in all meanings becomes as important as our own well-being. To love means to accept, approve and support the real-I of another person, also encouraging him to activate, express and nurture this real-I. Such involvement in another person expands, enriches and completes the formation of one's own Self. Is a relationship a challenge or, as they say, “psychological work”? Intimacy (in clinical psychology) is the ability of two people for genuine love and recognition in close, continuous interpersonal relationships. There is a disturbed “real self”, because relationships are close connections, contacts and intimacy Inability to express oneself To self-disclosure (difficulty in getting in touch with deep-seated experiences) Independent functioning (flexible autonomy) Sharing one’s experiences with another person The ability to perceive another person as an Other with both “good” and “bad” qualities The ability to be in loneliness Feeling genuinely concerned about the well-being of another person_ rather than needing