Inside each person there is a collective image of a Critical and Supportive parent. Imagine that the Child is drawing something and compare two phrases said by the parent to the child in response to his difficulties. 1. “What is it you can’t do again! Okay, let me finish it - and you look!”2. “Are you worried? Look how well you did here. What do you want here? Come on together. I’ll show you. Now try it yourself.” It seems that both phrases were said with care and a desire to help. But in the first phrase you can hear “I DO NOT believe in you”, “you CANNOT”; in the second, on the contrary, “I believe that you can handle it” and “you can do even more.” Try now to imagine yourself in the place of this child. Which of the two communication options gives you an incentive to action, to further search, to development? The Critical Parent is the prohibitions collected in our mental experience, evaluative criticism, sanctions, prejudices, stubbornness, blackmail, taking the weak, rejection of criticism or objections addressed to oneself, rejection of otherness. A Supportive Parent is care, constructive advice and suggestions, support, patronage, cooperation, unconditional love, faith in the abilities and capabilities of both one’s own and other people. A critical parent “turns on” the Wounded Child in us - the one who is unsure of himself, of his abilities, closed, withdrawn, limited, afraid. The child feels that he failed, feels guilt, annoyance, disappointment. Does he want to continue drawing? Will he have the courage to try something new, where, in his opinion, there is a risk of failure? A supportive parent “activates” a Free child - one who creates, creates, strives, wants, desires, knows how to enjoy life and build trusting relationships with the world. This is a child who feels his own self-worth - i.e. the value of oneself as an individual, regardless of the results of one’s activities. He easily and openly experiments, tries, searches, communicates. The concern of a Critical Parent results in a feeling of inferiority in the child. He MUST all the time! It often happens that we cherish and cherish the Critic within us - after all, he wants what is best for us. And he really wants to! But what can he really do? I would say its incentives are good for short distance races - it gives results, but it absorbs a lot of strength and energy. This is extremely expensive "fuel". A critical parent is a force of CONTROL. And control has a downside - LIMITATION. And the stronger the self-control, the stronger the feeling of VICTIM inside. If you want to run through life with a feeling of FREEDOM, with the feeling that you really live and love life, then you should pay more attention to your Supportive parent. Yes, he will not push you towards results - you are good for him even without results. But in his presence the energy “I CAN” appears - the energy of FREE WILL. You do something important for you and your loved ones not because you “have to” to your critic, but because you really want to. And - a paradox - but energy and strength come and do not go. How to move from theory to practice? 1) DATA COLLECTION Divide the sheet in half and label two columns “Supportive parent” and “Critical parent”. Write down the situations when you showed this or that parent towards yourself or others. This can be done immediately, but it is better to do it over a week or even a month. 2) AWARENESS Go through all the situations in one of the columns and try to understand what feelings prevail in them. How comfortable or uncomfortable are you in these situations? Then do the same with the second column. Compare your feelings and feel whether you want changes and in what direction. 3) TRACKING Observe yourself throughout the day. Try to start catching yourself red-handed. When did the CRITIC turn on in you? When did SUPPORT start working? Don’t rush to change yourself - first, just watch. And after the fact, think about how the situation would have changed if another parent had dealt with it. 4) CHANGE This is exactly the LAST one.!