Some people lose themselves, their integrity; in childhood they fell into the trap called “be comfortable and we will love you.” To feel needed and loved, young children begin to conform. The thirst for approval and understanding that everything is fine with them, and for the sake of this imaginary feeling of “stability” they involuntarily abandon their true self. From their nature, self-identification. The kid breaks away from his program because society demands something different, society does not accept him. The defenseless little one is unable to assess the situation and fight back when his system is invaded and broken. On the contrary, it seems to the child that big adults are probably right and need to do as they demand. At this moment, the little man loses his not yet strong self, he succumbed, he was broken, there will be no more of his own decisions, bold actions, real manifestation, but he only agreed for the sound of a coin, since he will never see the truth of love. The child grows up and becomes independent, but he has not learned to fully navigate the big world. He failed to become acquainted with his own desires. All his actions are determined by one thing - to please others, to be comfortable, to do the right thing for a portion of approval. Its integrity has been violated. He wanted to be in the “pack” so much, among his own people, that he did not understand how he lost his uniqueness and true nature. The need for love and approval is so strong that the process of self-identification has not happened. In the background there is an alarming thought that if I make the wrong decision, I will be judged, not accepted, rejected. This is an unknown state, it is similar to loneliness, it is scary. And many remain in this very position - “eternal obedient child”, without ever trying to take risks, spread their wings and fly in their own direction. This is best illustrated by Hans Christian Anderson in his fairy tale, The Ugly Duckling. It’s enough to say very simple words - “baby, you’re okay, we accept you.” And this is so little for others, and so much globally for the formation of a full-fledged personality.