...and leave this gray and boring Russia, with its frosts and rains, Khrushchev buildings and alcoholics. Tempting, relevant, desirable. The dream shimmers with the sun and beckons with its accessibility. Today's reality is that meeting a foreigner is possible not only at the entrance to the Intourist hotel. Dozens of dating sites are happy to connect hearts from different parts of the planet. I will not urge women to support “domestic producers”... And therefore today - about possible pitfalls, precautions and safety rules. The first trap is virtual Communication with a potential foreign spouse most often occurs via the Internet, in the event that you have not met , say, at work. And virtual reality is almost always wonderful! SMS messages, emails, messages in instant messengers are rarely rude, and conversations on Skype extremely rarely turn into scandals. This is the first stage of meeting a foreigner and the first trap that girls risk falling into. At the stage of getting to know each other, a man and a woman most often demonstrate their best qualities. Everything is like in ordinary life. Agree, with a sound mind, you are unlikely to come on a date in your favorite plush pants with cute elongated knees. And your interlocutor is most likely not an idiot to tell unpleasant things about himself, for example, about a criminal record or drug use. You use the “appearance” and “information” tools skillfully. So? So. In Internet communication, the seduction tools are quite limited. As a rule, these are speech/words and signs of attention. It is worth remembering that regular wishes of good night or good morning, “kittens” and “suns”, sweet smiles do not guarantee a happy marriage. Nor does the ability to listen, sympathize and understand... via Skype guarantee it. All I’m saying is that it’s not worth cutting off ends and going abroad for permanent residence without actually meeting your potential betrothed, even after many years of virtual communication. The second trap is the state one. “We dated for two years before the wedding,” says one client, the ex-wife of a certain Hungarian citizen. To the question “how did you meet?” - a story about two years of daily correspondence and three two-week meetings, once he came to see her in Tomsk, twice she went to see him in Budapest. The reason for their fourth meeting was a wedding. Yeah, he got married after all, you say! And you will be right. If we consider official marriage as the final goal, then achieving it is not difficult: if you fall in love, he will call you and get married (well, if it’s your destiny, of course). If a wedding is just the beginning of a new family life, a starting point, then it is worth remembering that three meetings are not enough to get to know the person with whom you are going to connect your life. Yeah, you say, you can get into trouble in Russia too - you married a normal person, but turned out to be a drunkard... This is the second trap. Having “got into trouble” in your own country, you know what to do. At least you are more or less aware of the legal system of your state. Do you know or have heard how divorces work in Russia, where you should go if you decide to separate from your unlovable spouse; If you managed to give birth to a child, you know with whom he will remain in the event of a divorce or what rights you and your spouse will have to raise your child. It is worth remembering that laws in another country may be fundamentally different from the laws adopted in the Russian Federation. Also, one should not exclude the important factor of support and assistance. Are you able to act alone, sometimes against the whole system? When butterflies flutter in the solar plexus area and the long-awaited migration becomes a reality, it’s a sin to think about the bad - you want to tune in only to a positive mood. And the idea of ​​some kind of danger seems like serial nonsense: all sorts of adventures happen to naive fools, but my foreigner swore his love to me, and an oath is sacred to him. The aforementioned Hungarian probably swore before the wedding too. And after, in another fit of jealousy, he kicked his wife in thehand, having broken her hand, he swore to his wife that he would no longer be jealous and kick. He broke his oath four more times, but he always apologized sweetly - with flowers, tears and new vows. The Russian wife had to get a divorce, get acquainted with the system, fight, move and rebuild her life in familiar and understandable Tomsk. So why not marry foreigners at all now? Are there any happy stories? Go out if you want. There are good stories, and quite a few of them. And there are “goats” in any country, in ours too. But taking care of yourself is a responsibility and the norm for an adult. You shouldn't put this on someone else. First, to minimize risks, you need to become familiar with the legal system of the state to which you are planning to move. It’s worth getting to know each other not only formally, but also “inside out” - read forums about divorces in the chosen country: what problems do people face in practice, what should they be afraid of, etc. Secondly, don’t burn all the bridges in your homeland at once - this is about your own sold housing, abandoned job and financial savings, which you must have (at least the amount for a return ticket). An alternate airfield wouldn't hurt. Just as it wouldn’t hurt to consult with a competent lawyer before leaving abroad. The third trap is moral. For example, in Azerbaijan it is considered indecent if a woman sits at a table with men. For example, if a couple of friends come to visit your husband, then your task is to prepare and bring tea. No one will invite you to have tea yourself. No, there’s nothing criminal about you sitting next to me, but it’s not cultural, it’s not accepted. Just like it is not customary to cry at a funeral in Thailand. And in many Chinese families, household duties, which are traditionally performed by women, fall on the shoulders of men - cooking, cleaning, etc. Strange customs, huh? Every country has its own traditions and customs: from food to funerals, from raising children to relationships with relatives in general. At first glance, nothing special: everyone has their own quirks - so what, let them be, even cool. But! It is worth remembering that life, simple everyday life, does not consist of travel, flowers, weddings, gifts, it often consists of simple human communication, conversations, interaction with relatives, cooking and eating food, household chores, grocery shopping and raising children ... No, not from routine at all, but from everyday events - simple, ordinary, not major. It is worth remembering that it is precisely in these matters that your cultural traditions, preferences and characteristics intersect. Answer these questions: are you ready to accept the customs of people of another country, sometimes to the detriment of your interests? Accept the morals of not only your husband, but also his relatives? Are you ready to defend your traditions if necessary? For example, in many Asian countries, spicy food is the norm for a person from birth; in our country, the so-called “complementary feeding” of babies, doctors recommend starting with “safe food” - cereals, vegetable purees ... Will a Russian woman remain calm if spicy pilaf or broth with spices is brought to her baby’s nose? This is how insidious it is, this third trap - it seems easy to avoid and not difficult to come to terms with, but every day... Traditions leave their mark on the country’s system as a whole. One friend, having lived in Spain for two years (with a Russian husband, by the way), upon returning home, called this country nothing more than “the country of tomorrow.” Tomorrow was everything - officials in all institutions could not give information and answers today, sellers in stores did not find the goods they needed now, bank employees had the same tendency - everything in this country was certainly postponed until “tomorrow”. Why are we surprised? After all, we, Russians, know that our Post Office is the same burdensome authority as the housing office and the BTI, that the tax inspectorate will probably greet you with a sour face and require 7 certificates with triangular seals and 3 with round ones, but the bank, on the contrary, will resolve all issues with.