From the author: about mother’s messages that changed the life of her child I choose a childless life She loved to tell everyone how difficult it was to give birth to her daughter. I can’t put into words what pain I endured…..she described it in all the details…..And everything would have been fine. We all love to describe life stories... If only her daughter had not heard these stories all her life! Oh!!! How difficult it was to give birth to a daughter!! And how it hurts!!!! It was terrible pain. I wanted to throw myself out of the window from the second floor in pain. But with a last effort of will, she appealed to her prudence and chose a bed instead of a window. Do you remember there used to be such iron, non-lifting beds? So she crawled under the bed with her big belly during contractions. And when the contractions stopped, the doctors lifted the bed to free her from there. Then she cried out to them, the doctors: “Do something!” I can’t stand it anymore... But I heard in response - you’re young, you’ll be patient. And the health workers didn’t bother to take an anamnesis - the history of the loss of amniotic fluid. And she, in her naivety and youth, did not insist that YES, the water broke almost a day ago. And besides, she had no idea how it harmed her child……….It turns out that she gave birth to her baby dry and her daughter suffered from pain together with her mother. And also from oxygen starvation. The girl fought for days to be born. But the doctors did not provide adequate assistance, hence the terrible pain. Mom was close to madness from terrible pain. This was the first birth of a very young woman. And she told her story, where it was necessary and where it was not at all necessary, Now she told it with laughter. What should I do? I told her in front of my daughter. The daughter listened with her mouth open, and fear grew and strengthened in her soul. Fear of giving birth! No - she will definitely manage without children. Fuck such torment. HER mother told the story of her appearance so vividly that she herself developed a strong protest against childbirth, which brought such incredible suffering. And then, when she heard stories of easy births, it didn’t mean anything to her anymore! She knew that giving birth was scary and painful! No! When she grew up, she reasoned like this: she didn’t want to suffer...the joy of motherhood is possible! But fear interrupted joy by a very large margin from joy. Suffering turned out to be worse than the joy of motherhood. Moreover, joy can be obtained in another way. The girl grew up. She is successful in her profession, Lives in a rich country. Travels a lot. In short, there is plenty of joy. And I don’t want to give birth at all... Maybe that’s why relationships with men don’t work out? Or rather, they don’t get to the wedding? Maybe they can take the child in for upbringing. No! No and no! Everything connected with children is dangerous. She already knows this - my mother told it in a very colorful and emotional way - it’s right in my memory! Nothing can stop you. And when friends and relatives ask: when, when will you have a baby? The girl, who has grown up frightened by her dear mother, firmly answers, “I don’t want to. But I don’t want to get married either?” Why don’t you want to get married? Maybe because marriage presupposes the birth of children? And the husband will want a child. And here she is with her mother’s convictions: - which you can’t overcome even with the fear of being alone - not getting married - living alone! Scary! Mom warned - don’t even try! Children are dangerous! Children are peligroso Author of the article: medical psychologist Tatyana Silaeva