Sometimes I come across information that being a victim is bad, you have to go out and not come back, and if you become one again, it means you’re not working hard on yourself and it’s even more painful that in general you are an eternal victim and that’s your fate. I suggest a slightly different interpretation, or rather, an approach to exiting the sacrificial state. The victim, like other parts of our psyche, has “stages of development” or opportunities for transformation through which She goes (gets stuck on some): 1. Unconscious. A person lives his own life, has no idea about codependency, victimhood, Karpman's triangle, etc. (getting stuck often occurs at this stage).2. Acquaintance of a person with his inner victim. Some situations in the process of life lead a person to understand that he sometimes (or constantly) lives from a state of victimhood. At this stage, reading books and articles begins, thereby triggering the transition of the victim from an unconscious state to a conscious one. What happens next?) Of course, RESISTANCE. As soon as our wisest psyche understands that the established system is threatened by TRANSFORMATION, we want to go back. It becomes scary, learning to refuse, defending yourself, meeting yourself, seeing how people can refuse you like this. This is normal and really scary.3. Being a victim is bad and shameful. This is a painful stage. Here we feel a clear hostility to the inner victim. Discomfort appears from the awareness of its presence in us. Self-criticism begins - “Well, how come, I agreed again, but I didn’t want to,” “I don’t like communicating with her (him), but I went,” “I couldn’t defend myself, I allowed myself to be insulted,” etc. Thoughts may arise “ I hate myself for such a reaction, I need to learn not to be a victim, to get out of it, to drive me out of myself." (Unfortunately, there may also be a stop at this stage)4. A true introduction to the inner victim. Here you get to know the victim as a part of yourself, and not as a concept from a book. Most often, this is a traumatized child (and more than one) of a certain or indefinite age. Remaining in a painful situation from childhood, hidden in the depths of the psyche until a “convenient” moment. This is where accepting the victim and giving up the desire to drive him away can begin. After all, this is your inner baby, you may want to hug him, kiss him, protect him, take him with you and never part with him again. At this moment, the victim ceases to be her, transforms, because when you are hugged, kissed and accepted, there can be no question of a victim, in this closeness there is a child, a baby, or some other affectionate way. Or a protest may arise - " I feel so bad, is this your fault?”, “If you didn’t agree and didn’t mumble when they insult you, it wouldn’t be so bad,” “I want you to disappear, I don’t want to accept you.” The protest tells us that in this relationship there are still parts that fly into this situation, and do not yet provide the opportunity to accept the inner child.5. Respect and gratitude for your inner sacrifice. Once upon a time you reacted this way because you didn’t know any other way. She survived the pain, survived in difficult conditions, and survived. Thank you for opening up to me now and allowing me to comfort you. Together we are no longer alone. When You awakens in me, I understand that it is important to take care of Myself. Thank you for showing me that I have forgotten about Myself. It is important to understand that when working with an internal victim, there will always be regressions. It's neither good nor bad, it's part of life. In different situations with different people we can be victims, the question is how we treat ourselves. No matter how much you work on yourself, there will be no guarantees that you will never return to the victim state. Life is multifaceted and unpredictable. It is important to understand that there is not one victim, you will find dozens of such parts and these meetings will be painful. It is important to allow yourself to be a victim consciously, to “catch” yourself in this state. When I say, be a victim consciously, I mean not engage in self-criticism and suffer for years without doing anything, but deeply explore the topic of sacrifice in your life.