Continuing the topic of codependency, we can safely say that dysfunctional families contribute to the fact that children in such families, in the process of upbringing, acquire psychological characteristics that contribute to the formation of codependent behavior. Stress caused by problems can be compared with the trigger that causes codependency in a dysfunctional family. From generation to generation, participants in the family system pass on to new generations the special distinctive signs of a dysfunctional family, which are described in the article “Signs of a Dysfunctional Family.” It is worth noting that when choosing partners and creating a family, it is appropriate to recall the assortativity of marriages of people suffering from chemical dependence. Assortativity is not a random choice of a partner, but a choice based on the presence of certain characteristics. As a rule, such a choice is made unconsciously. For example, a girl from a family where one or both parents suffered from alcohol addiction may be more confident in her husband to choose a drinking partner. In her book “Women Who Love Too Much,” Robin Norwood says that even if a woman chooses If you marry a man who was not inclined to drink alcohol, then in the future he may become dependent. The reason may be that the families of spouses are burdened with cases of addiction no less often than the families of patients with addiction themselves. Assortativity also explains the fact that a second marriage often turns out to be as “alcoholic” as the first. Choosing a partner according to certain characteristics is well described by Robin Norwood: We find an unstable man exciting, an unreliable man challenging, an unpredictable man romantic, an immature man charming , a gloomy man - mysterious. An angry man needs our understanding, an unhappy man needs our consolation. A flawed man needs our encouragement, a cold man needs our warmth. But we cannot "fix" a man who is wonderful in himself; because if he is kind and takes care of us, then we will not have to suffer. Unfortunately, if we don't love a man too much, we usually don't love him at all. Remember: if you are the reason he gives up a bad habit, you will also be the reason he returns to it. It will be useful to analyze the relationships in your family. When identifying signs of a dysfunctional family, do not fall into despair. Many problems can now be solved in the office of a qualified psychologist - an addiction specialist. Codependency in relationships can be successfully corrected. It will not be possible to achieve a fundamental change in relationships in one consultation, but you can outline a range of problems that you should focus on first and outline a path to solve them. Long-term individual and group therapy, self-development, reading relevant literature, attending meetings of Codependents Anonymous, watching video lectures on the topic of dependent/codependent relationships can help in solving this problem. Read my useful articles: “Signs of a dysfunctional family” “Differences between a functional (healthy) and dysfunctional family” “3 categories of codependent people” “Family of a dependent person” You can read other articles by the author here 🌹With respect and care for you, Marina Kudrina✍️ Subscribe to my YouTube channel hereSign up for consultations here