From the author: Essay published on my website and in the blogosphere Freedom of choice is something that pleases and frightens at the same time. A person always has a choice and in any situation, the only difference is that in many situations a person is not aware of this choice. Well, or he doesn’t want to realize it. After all, freedom of choice always also implies responsibility. But responsibility is scary and sometimes simply unbearable. Therefore, many choices in life are made in favor of avoidance rather than in favor of achievement. For example, a person spends a lot of time depressed about his own failure in his career, his own lack of success. In fact, while depressed, he may feel important, important, in a sense, “reveling” in his suffering. His despondency is a kind of way of feeling sorry for himself. After all, we all, at one time or another in our lives, may need pity and compassion. If we think logically, in order to get out of depression, this person just needs to start taking concrete steps in life leading to social success. And then, obviously, depression and blues should pass. But the higher you climb the social ladder, the more significant the demands of those around you grow. And the less they begin to feel sorry for you. In general, they don’t particularly spare the strong, and often, on the contrary, they try to push them back - why is he sticking his head out?!! But this person still has a need for pity and sympathy. And thus, a person, sometimes without realizing it, does not make a choice in favor of success, unable to withstand this pressure and responsibility. The price for this “non-choice” is depression and despondency. You always have to pay for every choice. I don’t remember who said it, but it was said very precisely: “Those who don’t want to pay for something in life have to pay.” To create certain relationships or not to create? To be happy and successful or to continue to be self-pitying? To break up or not to break up? Should you sacrifice your personal life for business or do the opposite? Our whole life is filled with such choices, and for each of them we pay something. And it’s good when we realize that we are paying. Because awareness gives birth to freedom. As an example of such awareness, here is another client case. A young man who lives with the belief that in order to successfully meet and attract girls, he needs to purchase a car of a certain brand. Actually, when I get it, then it will start to work out with girls. But now - no way, I’ve already tried it several times. The simple realization that it was he himself who personally made such a choice - to go into earning money so as not to get acquainted and not build relationships - has already done a lot. At first I was very angry: “How is it that I choose this myself??!! I’m suffering because of this, and that’s why I came to the appointment!!” This often happens, anger from facing a difficult truth. Then, over time, acceptance, awareness. Then it becomes easier, because since I do it myself in my life, I myself can change it. Then an interesting fact turns out that the development of relationships with girls is hampered to a greater extent not by the lack of a certain car, but by an overbearing mother, who every time criticizes his next passion.. And, having realized all this, you can choose in favor of something more pleasant and successful to do in life. Of course, paying for this by building a new system of relationships with my mother. As Lieutenant Colonel Slade said from the film “Scent of a Woman”: “In life, you can decide to do something, you can decide not to do something. Or you can not make any decision at all.” ... The third way is the worst." Ever since I was a teenager, when I first saw this film, I kept thinking, why is the worst choice the third choice?? And this is exactly so. Not making any choice is also a very concrete and viable choice. Many, many people do this most often in life. And then I understood. It is the worst because it pays the highest. This is the very case when.