From the author: psychotherapist, sexologist, TV program expert, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, NLP master, educational psychologist, existential neuroprogramming specialist, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach.Working with a girl from Moscow on this problem, we took a short break in our work. Sometimes such a pause turns out to be useful, and the client reveals what was deep inside. Now the girl said: “I have come to the conclusion that I am very fixated on marriage, this is what is bothering me.” Yes, this really is the case, according to the so-called Yerkes-Dodson law: “overmotivation worsens performance.” This is what I had to figure out as a good psychologist. Obsession was represented in her head in the form of a swamp-colored rim, which is exactly what spoke about the client’s lack of fulfillment in this regard. She recalled the story of her recent past. When the girl was 27 years old, her friend said: “It’s time for you to get married, otherwise you won’t get married...” The second memory was of a mother who really wanted grandchildren, and constantly reminded the girl of her desire. The third is a man who looked after client, he was over 50 at that time. He told her: “When you’re 35, you’ll be old and no one needs you.” The client was just that age now, and that’s why his words resonated. Well However, as an experienced psychologist, I, already together with the client, had to analyze each problematic situation, which, in general, turned out to be not difficult, with full rapport with the client. As for her friend, she proceeded from her map and her life experience . She also wanted to get married and was speed-oriented in this matter. The client said that she had a different life, and advice here was inappropriate. The mother proceeded from her desire for grandchildren, everything is clear here, but the primary thing for the client at the moment was still marriage, and then everything else. And the man just did "transfer". His years reminded him that he was no longer young, which was reflected in his words. Having analyzed this, the girl said: “I am free in my decision, now everything depends on me, I am focused only on myself.” There is such an anecdote: - Are you still not married? - If a woman cannot find a husband for a long time, this means that the Lord is keeping her for someone special. - The main thing is that the shelf life does not expire. And now let’s summarize what has been said: There is its own truth, and indeed, everyone has their own - this truth