Are grandparents important, necessary and useful? Yes! Yes! Yes! Provided that they stand in their place and do not displace the child’s parents. Read about this here. According to the law of the family system, the place of grandparents is behind the backs of the child’s parents. The life stories of some families confirm the negative consequences of violating this law of the family system. Situation 1. If the parents paid off. The grandmother, left alone or having retired, gives all her energy is directed towards teaching young parents how to properly raise a child, her grandson or granddaughter. The argument is dissatisfaction with one of the parents, be it the daughter’s wrong husband or “not the kind of wife I wanted for my son.” Often for this reason, a young family breaks up. And the child is given to the grandmother to get out of her control. - Each of the parents is busy with his own life. “They have no time for the child,” says the grandmother, taking the child to her place and justifying her goal. And her goal was to take the place of the parents. No matter how they try to explain to the child the correctness of this situation, he will feel rejected. Many reasons for this will be born in his child’s head, but their meaning will be as follows: - I’m somehow not like that. I am bad in some ways, so they gave me to my grandmother. Consequences for the child: illness, neuroses, increased anxiety, poor performance, protest behavior, loneliness, self-doubt, depression. Situation 2. Our grandson has the wrong stepfather. Parents divorced, grandson or granddaughter stayed with mother . And after some time, the mother got married, so the grandchildren had a stepfather. The reason for the divorce, as client stories tell, was the grandmothers’ interference in the life of the young family. The arguments that the grandmother puts forward, wanting to take care of her grandchildren: - You exchanged a child for a man, - she says to her daughter. “Look at your child’s stepfather.” This is a bad man, I can already see his harmful influence on his grandchildren. “You need to fight for your children,” she demands from her son at every opportunity. Grandmother protests, demands, accuses. She launches "military actions" against her parents. He fights with his parents for a better fate for his grandchildren. Tired of resistance, parents retreat. And the child, like a trophy, goes to the grandmother. I wrote above about the consequences for the child. And grandmothers spend a lot of their energy to stay in their won place, losing their health. Dear and respected grandmothers! If you want to live healthy and strong for a long time, then leave the children to their parents. Do not take a place that does not belong to you! To be continuedCheck whether each member of your family is in their place. Arrangements will help. Any coincidence is just a coincidence. © All rights reserved. Reprinting an article or fragment is possible only with a link to this site and attribution.