From the author: The article was published here Get married after 30 The world is changing rapidly. And if earlier a lady who turned 30 years old was considered an old maid and gave up on herself, then in our time many women deliberately postpone marriage. Career and achieving a stable financial situation come to the fore. And this, in turn, leaves no energy or time for personal life. And now single women over 30 are treated completely differently. They no longer evoke pity and disgusting contempt from the public. There's no shame in being lonely. However, if you are still puzzled by the problem of marriage, then today we will tell you how to get married after 30 years. What prevents you from getting married To find a husband and create a happy family, you need to start with yourself. Let's list some psychological factors that prevent a woman from winning the struggle for personal happiness. Inflated demands First of all, choosing a life partner after 30 years is complicated by the fact that the lady has already established herself as a person, and she has certain requirements for men. She looks not only at appearance and at the reaction of her body to one or another representative of the opposite sex. A woman is interested in the social status of a potential spouse, his financial situation, attitude towards children, outlook and worldview. And this significantly narrows the circle of possible candidates for husbands. Therefore, if you still want to find a husband, then the list of preferences will have to be reduced by at least half. Focus not on your wallet and social status, but on the feeling of spiritual comfort that does or does not arise when communicating with this or that man. Internal attitudes Another psychological factor that interferes with marriage is the attitude: I must definitely find myself a husband. This leaves an imprint on both character and appearance. Such a woman’s gaze becomes searching; it signals to men that the lady is looking not for a lover, but for a husband. And men get scared and try to stay away from such a woman. Let go of the situation, remove the attitude and treat the men around you as those with whom you can have a good time. Adventurers are much more likely to attract men than those who have “I'm looking for a husband” written on their faces. Men are hunters by definition, and therefore they get scared and run away when they realize that they themselves are being hunted. Conflict of contradictions The next factor is internal contradictions. On the one hand, the lady dreams of a family, but on the other hand, she already has established habits that are difficult to part with. Ask yourself: are you ready to change, adapt to another person, give up something? And answer these questions as honestly as possible. It’s one thing to have an abstract dream, and quite another to have a clear understanding of what you’ll have to go through. Very often, women themselves, on a subconscious level, push away potential husbands when they realize that they will have to sacrifice something for the sake of their spouse. So it makes sense to search for a husband only if you really want to find a family, and not just change your status as a single woman to that of a married lady. Low self-esteem Many women believe that if they were not able to arrange their personal life before the age of 30 life, then they are “defective”. Even if in reality everything is just wonderful for them: they have their own home, a strong career, a decent salary, many friends and a lot of hobbies. There is a complex in the subconscious: something is wrong with me. And it turns out to be a vicious circle. A woman does not love and does not value herself, which means that the men around her do not love her and cannot appreciate her. Learn to be proud of any of your achievements. And don’t forget to tell everyone around you about them. People should get the impression that you are smart, beautiful, successful in all areas of your life. No family? It didn’t hurt that much, that’s what I wanted! These are not your problems, but those who missed you. Change your view of your loneliness, and those around you will change their attitude towards you.Where to meet peopleTransport, streetIn general, you can meet anyone anywhere. Forget about the stereotype: decent women do not meet on the street or in transport. How do they get to know each other? What difference does it make where, if the man who approached you turned out to be charming and attractive. Another thing is that you should not immediately go with him to dubious establishments or, even more so, to visit him. For your first dates, choose places that you know very well and that know you. Cafe A good place to meet is a cafe located near your home or work. Make yourself a nice habit of drinking coffee (tea) there at least a couple of times a week. It is only recommended to come to the cafeteria in splendid isolation, and not with a crowd of girlfriends. Sit at the same table, drink the drink you ordered, read or take notes in a notepad. The fact is that each establishment has its own regulars, and they willingly make contact with those who regularly appear on “their” territory. Naturally, we are not talking about those who come to the bar “to have a drink.” Bet on men who, like you, pop in for a cup of coffee or a snack. Your HomeAnalyze your neighbors. Surely there is a single man of the right age living in your house. So why not get to know him better? Smile, say hello, ask for advice or ask for help. Feel free to take reasonable initiative. However, there is one nuance here: if you are not sure that this man is ready for rapprochement, then you should not openly seduce him. You don't need gossip, do you? Fitness club A fitness club is a great place to meet people. You just need to take two factors into account. First: your physical fitness. If she is not up to par, then you are unlikely to be able to attract the attention of men. Those who go to fitness are a priori focused on a good figure. They sculpt their own bodies, which means they don’t perceive fat women as potential objects for courtship. And the second factor: it’s not enough to just go to a fitness club and “shoot” your eyes there. You need to find a way to differentiate yourself from all the other women. You can make acquaintances at a fitness club by simply discussing the same club or complimenting a man’s figure. Often, men themselves take the initiative as soon as you let them know that you go to the club regularly and alone. Internet Numerous “electronic matchmakers” offer their services to those who dream of marriage. And their customer bases often consist of people over 30. This makes sense. After all, adults and accomplished people simply have no time to look for a mate on their own. And they turn to a marriage agency for help. Become a client of such a “matchmaker”, and you will have a choice. It’s worth trying dating sites, but choose paid ones with a good reputation and the most decent ones possible. There really are more men than women out there, and your expense on such a site may well pay off in a good marriage. Just don’t expect that it will be easy for you to find “your destiny” on such a site; you will have to spend a lot of effort and time. Moreover, every failure is fraught with serious disappointment. Old friends This, of course, is not the place for making acquaintances, but old friends can be of double benefit. Firstly, they can introduce you to someone. And secondly, childhood friends make excellent husbands. Remember with whom you had a warm and trusting relationship. And start calling the men who pulled your pigtails many years ago. Of course, the vast majority already have wives and children, but, most likely, there will also be single (or already divorced) ones. Invite them to visit, but not all at once, but one by one. Men, oddly enough, are sentimental people. They will be pleased to chat with their childhood friend, remembering the golden and carefree time. And if the conversation turns out to be sincere, then after some time a continuation may well follow. In general, finding a husband is work. And you need to do this constantly, and not from time to time. Reconsider your life, change your social circle, get out into people more often. So, making sure that you are truly ready for marriage and want to find.