From the author: Useful for those who are afraid of screaming or don’t know how best to react to it. During therapy, I am often approached with the problem of inability to communicate during scandals with parents, spouses and children. Conflicts and emotional demands do not lead to anything good. Most often, at the end there is devastation, a feeling of guilt, sometimes helplessness and the position of a victim through outright manipulation. The desire to prove increases anger and poisons relationships. This is, first of all, a hassle and an obviously losing game of “Whose blanket is it today?” Recently, a case arose: a young man is afraid to the point of phobia if someone raises his voice at him, starts judging him, or makes claims in a commanding tone. He avoids communication, gets irritated with any moralizing, enters into polemics, suffers if he has to please. Reasons from childhood require a separate publication. Within the framework of this article, I propose a way to react and get out of conflict situations - a small exercise. As soon as questions with negative emotions appear to you, such as: “Why did you do that?”, “How could you do that? !?”, “Why are you like this?”, “How long can you talk?!” and similar questions that provoke feelings of guilt or a desire to justify oneself, to defend oneself, to attack, there is a good stock phrase. It must be said calmly and kindly: “I don’t understand the question!” Then you can add: “I don’t hear you and I don’t understand what you mean you say. As soon as you change your tone and find another way to communicate, we can talk. I will try to understand you and take into account your requests. “In the end, you can say: “In any case, I love you.".