Female competition, or rather the lack thereof. As soon as another woman comes into view, she gets lost and looks for a way to disappear. Competition is so scary that it’s better not to try. It’s easier to just run away, pretend to be a rag, very busy and terribly businesslike. When you can no longer hide and have to admit that competition still exists, intellectual and professional competition comes to the surface, while female competition goes into the shadows even deeper. And again, it doesn’t seem to be a woman, but just to the point. Well, or at least you have to be friends with the enemy, displacing competitive feelings. No open manifestation. This split-off part of the female identity disrupts interaction with both men and women. Something important and basic to life, namely femininity, is shameful, dangerous, deeply hidden. Feeling like a woman among women and men is unbearably difficult for some special reasons. There is no confidence in your worth and attractiveness, the shaky ground is shaky - did you notice or not? As soon as it seems that you haven’t paid attention, a total feeling of your feminine inadequacy arises. With women you are always in suspense, who is better, who will be chosen, how to behave around you? And since all this is not realized, it takes a lot of energy to keep this layer in the unconscious, avoiding feelings and cutting off one’s feminine life. ****Competition has to be avoided due to the fact that in childhood there was especially strong rivalry with the mother. This fact could also be significantly enhanced by the following: premature sexual development, intimidation of girls, ridicule, shaming at an early age, conflicts between parents and, as a result, a conflict of loyalty, forcing the daughter to take one of the sides, open or vice versa, not obvious hostility on the part of mother, demonstration of excessive attention and tenderness on the part of the father (up to sexual assault). Jealousy, rivalry with the mother gives rise to hostility and aggression, then a feeling of guilt and fear of punishment arises, again hostility is already defensive, and again an increase in fear and guilt. Along the way, paternal influence or interest in him, or just loyalty causes shame and, again, guilt before the mother. This can not only lead to the rejection of the female role, femininity, to a hostile attitude towards women, but also to hostility towards men and competition with them. This is capable of developing purely male aspirations and then there is a transfer of rivalry to relationships with men. May cause a desire to belittle men's abilities. If I cannot be just a woman with you men, then I will be like you and win the competition with you. Strong, successful women, often single - this is how they defeated their partners. Such “non-competition” can manifest itself “on the sly” - to take away someone’s man when the rival is not even aware of it. Busy men and other people's husbands often attract women who are at odds with their femininity and the desire to attract and win male interest, who do not know how to compete externally, but wage a quiet war with their mother. Firstly, you can always “survive” these failed relationships , there's a good reason, and it's not about you. Such a rejection has a safer justification and is easier to bear. Secondly, if you win this battle, your points go off the charts and you are the coolest Amazon! He was the only one who needed to be taken away and you defeated the only rival on earth. Do I need to say who this rival really is? Having defeated a rival, most often the relationship does not work out. Why? Because if you defeated your mother and took her father away from her, then... in general, a relationship with him is also impossible. Thirdly, getting involved in these leftist relationships in the literal sense and in your suffering, that he does not leave and does not will leave, there is a justification and acting out of his non-competitiveness, strengthening the old scenario of relations with his mother (and father). So to speak, preserve childhood neurosis. There is always a justification for failure and,.